


Just Hold Me.

by storybored



Series: 25 days of Hellblazer [1]
Category: DC's Legends of Tomorrow (TV)
Genre: Cuz lets go brah, Hurt/Comfort, John Constantine Kissing Dudes 2K18, John wants to be a dad but that's not something we talk about, M/M, Someone want to fight me over Dez's last name?, chaos bi, its squishy, there isn't enough fic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-09
Updated: 2018-12-09
Packaged: 2019-09-14 19:26:27
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 887
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16918950
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/storybored/pseuds/storybored
Summary: A bad job for John used to mean hiding in his hotel room or the millhouse, but now it means going home to Laveau's and hanging around Dez until he decided to close. Now a bad job means telling his boyfriend, his love, what was wrong and not being judged for it. No matter what happens, no matter what John did.





	Just Hold Me.

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Extremebooklover](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Extremebooklover/gifts), [GreenSardonyx](https://archiveofourown.org/users/GreenSardonyx/gifts).



> This was inspired by Hellblazer #27 Hold Me. There is some implications about what John used to do to make money before he became a more successful conman.

Desmond started to count down the register when he heard the doorbell ring, he spoke without looking up,”Sorry, we’re closed.”

A soft accented voice broke the silence of the restaurant,”Even for me?”

Desmond smiled, he was growing to love that sound,”Of course not, Johnny. Let me finish with the register and I can make you some dinner.”

John shambled into the warm building and shivered, he just couldn’t get warm. He felt disgusting in more ways than one. The thing that happened with Anthea didn’t help matters. The restaurant was rather warm, cozy but John felt like he’d sat in a rotting icebox since he left New York. He shivered and pulled his coat tighter,”Your place or mine?”

Desmond finished counting the register and closed it. He approached John, crinkling his nose when he smelled him,”Did you fall into the sewer?”

John shrugged, his voice tired,”Been a bit of a week, Dez.”

Desmond reached out a hand which John tentatively took,”Come on, let’s go home. You can tell me all about it after your shower.”

John nodded and quietly followed Dez out of his restaurant and down the street to John’s second floor apartment. He could smell the rain in the air, he could just leave his coat out on the balcony and dry it in the morning. John wanted a nice hot shower so he could get rid of the smell and the feeling of hands touching him. Anthea, Alec, Abby, And people he didn’t remember anymore  _ touching _ him. He felt something knock into his shoulders and jumped meeting Dez’s concerned expression,”Im fine.” 

Dez looked at him with an expression John was familiar with, a you're full of shit but don’t want to be pushed expression,”Never said you weren’t.”

John smiled at Dez tiredly and followed him up the stairs into John’s, their, apartment. John didn’t realize how much he was shaking until he tried to open the door. It took a few minutes and John held the door open for Dez, John immediately shed his coat and tie making a b-line for the bathroom. John took off his clothes and turned the water as hot as it would go, he didn’t care how much it hurt he just wanted to get it off of him. John began to scrub himself raw. John stood in the shower sloughing off phantom grips and touches until the water turned cold. John climbed out of the shower and toweled off changing into a set of lounge pants Dez kept around the apartment and slid on one of his vests. Dez had already seen the scars before but John wasn’t keen on showing them more often than necessary. 

Dez smiled when he saw John, he always smiled when he saw John. And John didn’t know why, he didn’t like not knowing why,”Johnny?”

John sat down on one of the bar stools and buried his face in his hands. He wouldn’t cry, he couldn’t cry. His face was wet, he must’ve forgotten to dry it. He heard Dez walk around the island,”John?”

John leaned into Dez, his voice was shaking,”Just Hold me.”

Dez wrapped John into his arms,”What happened?”

John cuddled into Dez,”Too much?”

“Do you want to talk about it?” 

“I don’t know. Yes.” Dez pulled John off the stool and pulled him toward the couch. John pulled his knees up to his chest and hid his head in his knees. Dez sat next to him waiting for John to speak or initiate contact,”What is wrong with me? What makes people think that’s okay? If she just asked…...”

“If who asked John?” 

“Anthea.” John flinched at how grating and pathetic his voice sounded, he just needed to explain to Dez and get his help,”Her and her girlfriend wanted a baby, a blonde haired blue eyed little girl. So they came up with a plan and why would I care? It’s not like I have feelings. Not like I’m dating anyone. Not like I would give a shit. I probably would’ve helped if they just asked. It’s like Alec and Abby all over again.”

Dez watched John start to become hysterical and put a hand on his back, he knew the story involving Alec and Abby. He understood why John did that one though,”And what did you do?”

“I got pissed and left, I couldn’t do that to you. If she asked we could’ve talked about it but she didn’t. And then there was Jacko…..”

“Who?”

“Ghost, poor homeless blighter who froze to death. Ended up killing some poor girl’s mother. Poor sod just wanted to be held. He smelled like a rotting abattoir.”

“So that explains the smell.” John cracked a ghostly smile at Dez,”Anything else happen?”

“This trip just reminded me that I wanted to come home to you.” John stretched out on the couch and leaned into Dez’s side. He wrapped an arm around his waist and rested his head on Dez’s shoulder. John was silent for a moment, his voice sounding like an afterthought,”I love you Desmond.”

Dez turned to face John and was a little surprised to see John pulling him into a gentle kiss, Dez paused just before their lips touched,”I love you too, Johnny.”


End file.
